Sunday, February 12, 2006
bad day
after like... about 1 year, i am finally (??) back.
this is such a bad time to revive my blog. cos i am in the midst of the common tests. i didn't have any problems with the english and social studies paper, surprisingly. now i'm worrying about history paper, and other much more important matters.
i can't believe i just told away a secret. what's worse... to a guy who like... talks non-stop!!
i am so dead... he would trigger a chain reaction if he spreads it. lets see...
he tells the person> the person will hate me > the person start spreading bad things about me > more people hate me > i will be left alone > depression (maybe) >
suicideomg, its so scary... i dun even wanna think about it... i'll just PRAY that nothing will happen...
oh God... please help me, i beg You
trust trust trust. is it really important?? what if people just wants to take advantage of me, wanting to know all my secrets, when i told them that i trust them? people are cunning these days. If only psychic really exists. I would KILL to read people's minds.
i don't like it if people hate me, that just means one friend less. so if many people hate me, that would mean that soon, i'll be friendless.
ok ok, i'm so... being pessimistic right here. actually it's kind of useless if you tell yourself, "come on, positive thoughts, positive thoughts". and it's kind of useless if I tell myself, "come on phillip, be optimistic, think positive thoughts" because i just can't stop thinking of the worst case scenario.
and the worst case scenario is that i'll be alienated everywhere.
let's see if i change everything i mentioned above, to a more positive side...
in school, everybody is my friend. i can walk pass people and keep hearing 'hello's or 'yo's.
in canteen, everybody just want to be around me.
after school, everybody walks with me home...
actually, ya know what, that was too optimistic. Too positive that it could be classified as negative.
mmm... right now, i don't like how my life is progressing.
